It’s been 14 years since two of the finest human beings it’s been my pleasure to be friends with got engaged and on the 27th they finally tied the knot, got hitched, got married.
As it’s their wedding I decided to leave Mikki at home and go as my alter ego.
For those who think that’s weird as a trans male, then let me explain my rational.
This day isn’t about me, its not about my ego, its not about what I look like, its not about who I am….. It’s about my friends. Their happiness, their special day. It’s about the couple who are getting married.
Also some of my other friends haven’t yet met Mikki, I decided today wasn’t the day for that to happen.
I’m sure this has dissappointed them but I also decided not to attend the wedding as Mikki because this couple have supported me so much over the past few months and have been there when I’ve had mental breakdowns and anxiety attacks as well as to offer support and love.
So I decided to become a wall flower for the day.
I’ve known the happy couple for a long time and I shared a house with the groom for a few years and this has given me a bond with him which has lasted over 25 years. We can go months without speaking, not that we do, but when we talk again it’s like nothing has changed. The conversation carries on from where we left off. In fact even now we never say “see you” or “bye” and always say “speak to you later”.
So, the wedding.
I was so eager to get there I arrived about 30 minutes early despite an hour and a half’s drive. Seems I wasnt the only one as some of my friends are already sat in the car park. Love this lot.
The ceremony was a low key affair because the happy couple are low key people, so just family and friends and I loved seeing some of their family after what is in some cases 10 years.
The ceremony started with the pair walking in to the 2001: a Space Odyssey music which I knew about but it made quite a few people laugh. That was the aim and they had timed the walk down the aisle to perfection. They admitted later they had practised the distance to walk to the musical duration.
The rest of the ceremony passes quickly and I admit the female side of me was crying her eyes out. I was so happy for them as they both looked happier than I’ve ever seen them. Smiling so much.
The wedding is over in what seems like a flash but we’ve been in the registry office for an hour.
After the ceremony we retire to one of the local ale houses for the partaking of drinking of alcoholic beverages as well as pre-prepared food stuffs. We sit in two groups, the conformists and the non-conformers. I do try talking to some of my mates family, in the conformists circle, but there already well on the way to being pissed after a few hours. I sit with my friends and chew the fat but after 3 hours it’s decided we should retire to the happy couples house for more of a party.
All the squares leave. Yay!
I get some time to spend with two of the most important people in my life. Let me explain why.
My transition so far has been a short journey. I’ve kept things close to my chest but the first people I outed myself to was the happy couple. This was at the start of October. I outed myself to them a fortnight before I told my parents and on the night I went round to my parents as Mikki for the first time. I went to their house straight after. I admit it shocked them especially as I had gone to a massive effort that evening to look amazing, but after the initial shock they were so cool about Mikki.
That evening we all sat and talked. We talked until the next day, right through the next day and into Sunday morning. All the time I’m sat in their house. I’m Mikki. They treat me so differently to 99% of my friends.
On Sunday I leave their house but not before they have said how they both feel so honoured I have introduced them to Mikki and they’re also blown away by my honesty, mainly as to how honest I’ve had to be to myself, as well as how happy I am after years of, and I quote “being a miserable fucker”
This has led them to talk to each other at length after what they term as, their relationship having gone stale. Once i’d left on the Sunday they continued to sit there and talk more and more. They said until Tuesday evening and most of this was about how happy I am and about being honest with each other about what they want from each other in the relationship.
11:40 pm on Tuesday night and my phone rings. Its the groom.
“Mate, I just wanted to tell you we’ve talked after the weekend and we want you to be the first to know. We’re getting married”
I’m speechless! and I admit I cried. They wanted me to be the first to know!
We talk for well over an hour but they have obviously listened to what I was telling them about being honest to yourself and only then can you be honest to those who love you.
I love these two, their my best mates, and as such as would never have missed their wedding for anything.
I had a awesome day and New Years Eve i’m at their house as me, Mikki. Along with everyone who want to meet Mikki.
So looking forward to this.