Month: February 2021

I’m a serial apologiser, I’m sorry

I am a serial apologiser, I’m sorry I just can’t help myself saying sorry. Maybe it’s my upbringing or the fact that I was once married to another serial apologiser or maybe its because I’m a shit human being? It might just be that I think everything is my fault?

I really can’t help myself saying “I’m sorry” and some days my apologising has been detrimental to my friendship and relationship and it has been said to me “why don’t you tell me what’s wrong instead of saying sorry?” but sometimes I just don’t know how to verbalise what’s going on in my head so I say “Sorry”. I’m getting better at this though as I now know why this is happening.

Sometimes though, I don’t feel I can say anything other than “i’m sorry” as to do otherwise would elicit an unwanted response or severely piss others off.

In the past I have actually found myself apologising for other people or other people’s behavior, and again this has caused problems in past relationships especially when the person you’re apologising for then gives you a belly full of abuse for apologising for them. This has caused major arguments. The truth of my over apologising is that folk think I am weak because of it.

It is well documented in Psychology circles that some people experience symptoms “like a bunny trapped in a cars headlights” when they are faced with confrontation or trauma and some people actually lose their ability to think, communicate or even lose their memories of this incidence and this is me, but I feel the urgue to apologise.

I’ve thought about this long and hard over the past couple of months and the things I do/have done and the events in my life and you know what, I’m done with it. If you don’t like something I’ve done, whether it be for me, for you or for us, then why should I apologise for that? In the future I really do feel that I should be saying words more along the lines of “screw you” than “I’m sorry”.

I won’t be made to feel bad about things I’ve done especially when they were done in good faith or because I thought that was the right thing to do, especially if the other party involved in the conversation does exactly what the hell they want, whenever they want. Even if the things i’ve done have been for me.

Am I wrong in changing my decision and thinking this way, I don’t think so. Am I a shit person. My family, friends and customers don’t think so!

So, if you think I’ve wronged you in anyway then “screw you”. I really don’t feel the need to say “i’m sorry” for this anymore.

Mikki’s Favourite Rave Tunes Play List

I admit it. I’m a raver, was in the past and still am now. So here’s Mikki’s Favourite Rave Tunes Play List on that there YouTube thingie.

Tunes in my play list in no particular order, some you might like, some you might not!

 

Mikki’s Favourite Rave Tunes Play List

Go straight to the You Tube Play list here you filthy animals – Mikki’s Favourite Rave Tunes Play List – YouTube

More to come, more to be added.

Why not let me know your favourite rave tunes?

Cobra Kai Mural, Northern Quarter, Manchester

Cobra Kai Mural, Northern Quarter, Manchester

The NHS Nurse Mural has now been replaced with this Cobra Kai Mural which is an advertisement for a TV program on something called Netflix.

No idea what the program is about but i’m betting its some kind of Karate Kid program.

The mural is located on the corner of Thomas Street and High Street in the Northern Quarter, Macclesfield

Location Map

Photo date: 21st February 2021

Photography copyright: Mikki Tiamo

On the sixth day god created Manchester Mosaic

On the sixth day god created Manchester Mosaic

The “On the sixth day god created Manchester” mosaic is located on the back of Afflecks on Short Street next door to Crazy Pedro’s Pizza.

This is inspired by the legendary T-shirt designed by Leo B Stanley

On the back of Afflecks Palace, I know its now mainly only known as Afflecks but i’ve been frequenting there for may years and its always been called Afflecks Palace in my circles, there is a copy of the T-shirt designed by Leo B Stanley in Mosaic form.

This is not to be confused with the On the sixth day god created Manchester, graffiti art found on the waste land on Picadilly and Gore Street.

Location Map

Photo date: 21st February 2021

Photography copyright: Mikki Tiamo

Crazy Pedro’s NQ Mural on Short Street behind Afflecks

Crazy Pedro’s NQ Mural on Short Street behind Afflecks

Behind Afflecks is the Crazy Pedro’s NQ Mural on Short Street. This mural like many in the city is a living mural and changes occassionally.

The latest incarnation is of the Crazy Pedro’s character wearing a Covid mask. As always this is painted on the roller shutter doors beside the entrance.

Open at the moment for take away from https://crazypedros.co.uk/

Crazy Pedro's NQ

Location Map

Photo date: 21st February 2021

Photography copyright: Mikki Tiamo

Today has reaffirmed my decision

Today has reaffirmed my decision to transition in my life. It’s been an enlightening day, especially in the sea of negativity and depression we’re all tied into with Coronabollocks.

I’ve had four appointments today and I’ve actually spoken to lots of people today in person and online. I’ve had proper conversations with them, which is the first time in a long time, mainly because I’ve spent since March last year in empty warehouses, empty offices, or alone in residential houses.

The past almost year has been a very depressing workplace I can tell you.

Today, however, has been very different as I’ve been to places where there has been people at all four appointments and we’ve chatted quite a bit and it wasn’t about Coronavirus, which I am sick of talking about!

At the first appointment, we sat and talked, socially distanced of course*, about old cars. Someone give this man a medal for not talking about the current lockdown. I actually loved listening to this guy and we laughed massively about the technology of yesteryear compared to our modern run-of-the-mill automobiles. We also talked about our love of fish and kippers and I think a trip to Arbroath, for Arbroath Smokies, maybe on the cards when the government decides to let us freely move around again!

I traveled to a warehouse just outside of Macclesfield and met a customer and his partner who have just bought this place and want to put a big WiFi network in and join the building to his existing warehouse network some 400m away. I haven’t seen him since January last year and although they’ve known for a while about my transition he was shocked to see me, shocked in a pleasant way, and comments were passed on how good I looked and how much happier I looked.

I then went to fit some WiFi units at a residential house in Prestbury and when I arrived the owner noticed I had my dog with me and insisted I bring her into his house *

After fitting the units in the loft I find my dog sat at the bottom of the ladder up to the loft along with his daughter who is stroking my dog and also has their dogs as well.

We chatted about our dogs, how well-behaved my dog was and how badly behaved their dogs were.

We talked about training and dogs, and then she asked me, “How did she get so well behaved?”

So I showed her a few training tricks and within about 20 minutes had managed to get one of her dogs to give me its paw, both left and right.

She was flabbergasted.

Now the reason for the title of this page and why today has reaffirmed my decision to transition from male to female.

In all the conversations I’ve had today, everyone has commented on how happy I look and how much more approachable I am. I actually spoke to a customer’s wife today for the first time and she said she never talked to me before as she always thought I was a bit miserable.

In myself I feel much happier, I don’t have this overriding sense that something is wrong all the time as I’ve addressed this and moved forward and I also really don’t care about the outward projection of myself as I feel much happier and content inside. I like who I am, I care about myself and I want to be a better person!

So onwards and upwards. Let’s get on with life and live it as I want to.

 

* Socially Distanced, with facemask, hand sanitizer, and a huge fucking dose of common sense. Just so the rozzers don’t do me for sitting in a room with someone!

Manchester’s street art

Here’s a gallery of some of the pictures I’ve taken over the past 12 months on walks around the city center of Manchesters street art.

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