Personal

My Weight Loss Journey

This is my weight loss journey. My weights at various times along with what i’ve been doing and how its affecting me.

Starting weight: 20 stone 4 lbs
(August 2019)

Current weight: 16 stone 8 lbs
(13th September 2020)

Argh! its gone up. Still I have eaten like a pig the past few weeks

Target weight: 15 stone
(October 2020)

I have been over 19 stone for over 20 years and because of my mental state I have comfort eaten a lot in the past. I’ve drunk lots as well! Neither are great!

Because I am much more happier since I came out, I now look after myself so much better these days. I want to lose weight, not just for my health but also for my mental stability.

In September last year I sat myself down and battled a few internal demons to get to where I am today. I haven’t been on some wonder diet, Keto (no), Aitkins (no), Grapefruit (blurgh!) or others.

What I have done is more mental than physical and now I only eat when hungry and this somedays might be 4 times a day. Other days it might just be once.

I’ve also learnt portion control.

Fuck, in the past I have sat and eaten massive amounts of food in one sitting and some days I would eat the largest thing the eatery I was visiting served and still have room for pudding!

Its not been plain sailing and on a few occassions I have gone to places i’ve eaten in the past and ordered their massive breakfast but then stuggled to eat even half of it as my stomach just cant take the volume it once used to devour! I once went to MuckDonalds and ate 8 quarter pounds! 8, these days I stuggle to eat one as I honeslty think the box they come in has more taste.

Portion control has been my main weapon as i’ve not avoided specific foods while i’ve been on this quest. I hesitate to call it a diet as its just so not. If I want ice cream I have it, just dont eat a full tub 😀

I’ll post up pictures soon as I want to get to my target weight before I start posting pictures up.

So far I’ve gone from a size 24 to a size 18!

I’ve also found out from the Doctors that at my last annual checkout in March 2019 I was 21 stone 6 lbs!!!!!!!

 

My thoughts on the postponement of Manchester Pride 2020

Just let me say before I even start my rant that I am hyper, hyper pissed off that this has been cancelled but taking my selfish hat off I realise that with the current situation with Coronavirus the event can’t go ahead. I know its such a shame but hopefully I can get everything i’ve paid for to roll over to next years event?

When we started the Coronavirus lockdown my initial thoughts weren’t “Oh I hope everybody is going to be ok”. No, they were fuck this is going to seriously screwed up my social calendar. Selfish I know but sometimes I do only think about me.

On the first week of lockdown a number of events I was planning on attending in May and June were cancelled straight away and my biggest concern about the speed they cancelled these major events was are they going to cancel Manchester Pride 2020.

I’ve joined lots of social media groups, information pages, Instagram and news feeds despirate for news of events, cancellations or event just a little snippet of news about events and mainly Manchester Pride.

Come 11th May and the people who run Manchester Pride announce the postponement of the Manchester Pride 2020 event (cry)

My initial reaction was, noooooo, and I admit I burst into tears but then I read the announcement and I understand where the organisers are coming from with the Coronavirus situation.

While I am incredibly sad as it’s an amazing LGBT event I don’t want to maybe die for a weekend of fun and frivolity.

Well not from a virus anyway!

My tickets roll over to the 2021 event automatically so that tickets taken care of but it’s all the other stuff I have to now rearrange as I’d already booked, beauticians, waxing, nails, hair, hotels, train tickets, and a few other things.

If you don’t see me in a week send a search party as I’ll be emailing, phoning or sending smoke signals

Why do you treat me so bad

This was written as a quick poem to a woman I once loved.

Why do you treat me so bad

Although I love you like mad,
All you do is treat me bad,
And every single word you say,
Is like a knife which takes away,
My heart and soul, the life in me,
Eroded by your thoughts, bitterly.

The times you shout, look down at me,
The things I do, for you and me,
You shout and scream or tut and sigh,
These things you do, they make me die,
My heart it breaks a little bit,
As you constantly treat me like shit.

I work so hard to provide,
But all you do is ride my hide,
It seems to me that all i do,
Is never really enough for you,
Mental torment all the time,
But in the end, you crossed the line.

Came home one day, we argued lots,
Like a rabid dog, not had its shots,
You shouted, screamed and then you cried,
“I’ll kill you then”, a knife you pried,
I took it off you but then you said,
“I’ll kill myself”, “I’d rather be dead”.

I knew right there and then,
We’re finished, over, fait accompli,
I left the house, couldn’t be there no more,
I know you took my heart that day,
Stabbed it, metaphorically, threw it away,
Took my love and I died inside.

Now I’m not with you anymore,
Happy now, no woes from you,
It made me sad, now not with you,
Our relationship worth not a jot,
So, no longer will you treat me bad,
I’m gone my dear and that’s your lot.

Happier now I’ve embraced Mikki

At Manchester Pride 2019 I had my born again experience and I wanted to write about it as it’s fundamentally changed my life. First this was for the worst and secondly for the better.

Let me explain what happened and then why it changed my life and how it has fundentally changed me as a person as well.

Prior to pride I had a few experiences which led me down the road I am now on. These did involve, firstly me dressing in woman’s underwear on a few occasions and secondly, meeting some new friends who were very open minded about sex, their sexuality and talking about sex. Something, us British are shit at talking about. Believe me when I say we’ve talked over the past few months. Really talked.

I’ve written before at length about my surpression of dressing up and how I was made to feel ashamed of doing this in the past but it’s something I can’t suppress any longer and I will not be made to feel ashamed in anyway shape or form. I’ll tell people to piss off before I let them belittle or shame me.

I look at my life that at the very least I am an effeminate man or a crossdresser but I’d say I am something more as I don’t only want to dress as a woman occasionally. Nor is this a sexual thing, some kind of sexual perversion. I actually want to dress full-time as a woman. I’d be quite happy and on numerous occasions I have walked round my local supermarkets and town centre before or after big nights out. I’ve even been to lunch with one of my clients in Alderney Edge and Nantwich. She loves going out with Mikki.

If I am working and can’t be Mikki then as soon as I am home it’s showered, shaved, make up on, dress on. Otherwise I am Mikki all the time.

Telling my friends was so hard at first as I didnt know what to expect. After not speaking about being Mikki and thinking about the coming out situation and admitting to myself that I can’t lie about being Mikki. I told my friends who have melted my heart with their support, understanding and most of all encouragement.

I absolutely love my life friends, Nay, I adore them and yes I do tell them I love them eveytime we say “see you soon”. These are the people I would trust my life to, and on one or two occasions I have done when things haven’t gone right in my life.

One or two of them have said “What took you so long?” or “We were wondering what the change was about” but most of them have said one of the following.

“I love you because I love to be with you”, “Your sexuality is no concern of mine”, “Irrespective of what you’re wearing, if your wearing a dress or trousers then your still my friend”. Everyone has said how much happier I am in the past few months since I admitted to myself “This is who I am”.

And I am so much happier. I’m not carrying round this confusion about who I am and why am I having those thoughts!

  • Is there something wrong with me?
  • Why do I feel like that?
  • Why does that appeal to me so much that I would like to wear it?

In past relationships I have watched my partner’s dress or spent much longer looking at them than sometimes its “weird”.

I wasn’t thinking “phwoar” or some other sexual thoughts, okay maybe, I did that as well. I am looking at these lovely ladies and watching them brush their hair, put their makeup on, pull a pair of stockings up, button up their blouse, apply mascara or event just putting on a pair of shoes. I would look at them and think, how does she do that so quickly? No, how does she do that? Wow, look at that! I want to look like that.

I’ve seen my partner’s dresses up and thought how I’d like to wear what they are and feel what they must feel like. After Manchester Pride and the reaction I got at Pride, I felt about 10 foot tall.

I, and I know I’ve said “I” a lot recently but, yes I am really happy about finding myself, sure I am also quite sad that I went about finding myself in the way I did but if it hadn’t have happened as it did would I be as happy and in the same place I am now? Or would I still be surpressing my desires?

Some may say, your desires should remain just that, desires. Bollocks, desire is what makes us strive and move forward in life does it not? If you have no desire how do you function in life? Ooooh, maybe that a discussion I need to have with my Psychotherapist?!

I am firstly happy to have found me, not just my feminine side, but also my honest side where I’ve said, be honest with you. Be honest with what you want. Be honest to your loved ones. Be honest about what you want in your life.

One knows that slapping on make up and putting on a pair of heals a woman does not make but the journey I embark on is some 49 years in the making and everyday is a school day.

The Majesty of a night out

When I go out, out I love how it makes me feel and wanted to put down in words how does it feel getting dressed up to go on a night out? How does it feel to get dressed up as your alter ego to go on a night out?

For me the majesty of getting dressed up is not only an act but it’s the theatrics of the event and how ultimately it makes you feel before you even step out the front door or step through the door of a nightclub!

I’ve had girlfriends say this to me before and I never understood this and it was only on a night out with Kim where are we got ready together but I realised the theatrics, the preparation and the process are what makes or breaks a night out.

Let Me explain.

I go out with Kim quite a lot in Manchester as she lives in a flat within minutes of canal Street in Manchester, because of this I do get dressed to go out direct from Kim’s place. This is usually done in a rush or or so slowly we get a bit drunk and we end up going out at 2 a.m in the morning instead.

So, on a recent weekend away we were attending an event in Leeds. An event which started at 9 p.m. but we started getting ready at about 3 p.m. a process of shaving, plucking, preening, hair done, apply makeup and then putting our outfits on for a night out.

We got to our hotel about 2:30pm and we went straight to our room. The girls on reception did comment on how much luggage we had for a 2 days stay. “Sod off, ya nosey sod!” was Kim’s response in her thick Mancunian accent.

Anyway we got to the room and first things first, two glasses of rosé wine for the ladies.

“Cheers luv”
“Cheers Kim”

Nice room, No, a great room. I know we paid for it a massive double bed our own little seating area looking out towards the city centre and a bathroom with a massive shower.

We have a drink toast ourselves and then toast to each other and then we start to get unpacked.

Mind that we are only in Leeds for 2 nights the Friday night is our event night and the Saturday night is first of all so that we can recover from the Friday and don’t have to get up early to go back to Manchester but so that we can have a lie-in in and then have a second night out in Leeds in a different atmosphere but despite this Kim seems to have brought half a wardrobe with her and I count 6, yes 6 outfits.

Well a girl’s got to have choice darling, she says to me.

I can’t say anything as I’ve brought four outfits and yes a girl just needs a choice. Plus its a girl’s purgative to change her outfit at the very last moments.

What does make Kim laugh is the 6 pairs of shoes, i’ve brought.

I can never decide on shoes and have to try multiple pairs on before I decide if they go with my outfit this might explain why I’ve got so many pairs of shoes at home. When i’m at home i’ll try on 6 maybe 10 pairs before I decide on which pair

I think on last count I had about 65 pairs of shoes. What can I say I like shoes.

Anyway Kim takes the bathroom first as she’s much younger and has less hair to shave, wrinkles to stretch out, grey hairs to pluck, etc.

It’s my turn in the bathroom and here is where the theatrics start.

In the shower,
Wash my body,
Wash my hair,
Clean that body.
Even that bit down there.

Squirt the shaving cream,
Brand new razor in hand,
Shave from top to bottom,
Need to use both hands.
“Don’t forget that bit” says Kim, “That bit there”.

Preened to perfection,
It’s time to get ready,
My make up tonight,
Light colours,
and not to heavy.

My favourite foundation,
From the girls at NYX,
Cheeks blended to perfection,
Because I love the look they give,
They get special attention.

Eyebrows pencilled,
Mascara applied,
My lip, must take my time,
Part of my face thats you see straight away,
Lipstick needed and time to apply.

But what colour to wear,
Natural, No,
Pink, er no as well,
Dark red it should be,
Or my be CS Red for a dare!

Clothes all laid out,
On top of the bed,
Lingerie, stockings, suspenders, like little threads,
Beautiful clothing,
Stuff I love to wear

“No, not those earrings, here try this pair,
Yes those are perfect, do this with your hair”
Kim, be a darling and zip my dress
“You look beautiful darling,
I bloody love that dress”.

“I’d do you, but first let’s go get wrecked”
A quick hug and off out we go,
Out into the night.
To have a good time,
But you knew that.
So, my friends. Goodnight 😘

Coming out to my mum

One of the people that I really struggled coming out to was coming out to my mum.

This was the hardest person to express my feelings too for no other reason that I absolutely adore my mum even though sometimes she drives me up he wall. I am my mother’s son and I think we are very similar.

I struggled telling my mum on two fronts the first being, I honestly didn’t know what to say to her at first and I didn’t just want to pull out the first thing that came into my head. So I spent a long time actually conjugating words in my head over and over again before I actually expressed these words to her in person.

There was a problem with this that despite telling my mum 5 times it was only when I turned up at my parents house dressed as Mickey that she understood what I’d been talking about.

The way that I’d chosen to express myself to her or whether or not it was the words that I’d chosen which with the issue I do not know. Just maybe that she didn’t want to hear ultimately what I was telling her. However now that I have told her she understands and we have a much better relationship now than we’ve ever had.

The second reason I really struggled is I didn’t want to hurt my mum and although I know so that she only seeks my happiness in life if I also didn’t want to say something to her which would upset or annoy her hence why it took me so long actually summon up the courage and the correct words to express my emotions and to some extent my mental state towards her.

And no, I shouldn’t have worried about this but it did cause me a great amount of anguish as to what to say.

It’s quite ironic that the words that I chose on five different occasions we’re nowhere near as effective as my actions has just turning up dressed as Mikki.

As I said earlier the relationship that my mother and I know have is the best it has ever been in my entire life it’s almost like, be me, be myself thank you I want to be and ultimately been happy about my life I can now discuss things with my mother but I’ve never been able to discuss with her before.

Doesn’t matter how I visit her whether it be as Mike or Mikki she is fully accepting of who I am and how I dress and I have found myself having numerous discussions with my mother about clothing and makeup. On one occasion my mum has actually said to me that my makeup was too over the top until I explained it was for Halloween. We laughed!

Since outing myself to my mum she has said I am so much happier than I have been for a long time and like I said we have a much better relationship since.

Metaphorically dead, red wine

My brain is a factory of doubt and ill reason,
Still love you inside, not together there’s a reason,
I can’t see things in just black and white,
You make me argue, bicker and fight.

Although I still love you, we must stay apart,
Something deep down means I’m better inside of my heart,
When we’re together, things raw, to the bone,
I constantly think about you, but realise we’re better alone.

Like nails in a coffin, joining two bits of wood,
You’re not really dead, just where I can’t see,
You’re definately can’t be thinking of me,
I understand that now after all, as if hit by a bat.

Occassional glimpses of you, as I walk on past,
You just sit there, firmly plonked down on your ass,
I’ll never forget you, but can’t drink you no more,
My heart and mind feeling turmoil, split into two.

I miss you like crazy, but my mind just says no,
Cos when I drink you, dont know which way I should go,
I will always love you, you might not know that,
If you could talk, you’d say I’m a twat.

At one time to me, best friend in the world,
So, I’m writing this poem, these words there interred,
Wish you no malice, I don’t want you dead,
Plenty of others, go mess with their heads.

Hope that you’re happy, sat on the shelf,
12% vol, not good for my health,
I’ll always love you, so close, we’re no more,
Go find another patron, you crimson red whore.

New Years Eve

It’s New Year’s Eve and tonight I’m off to friends over in Burnley to party!

The very same friends who got married a few weeks ago but this time I have somewhere to stay so can relax and let my hair down.

But first I’ve got to get through the day!

First thing is I need to run some family errands so I’m up bright and early. First off I need to sort my nails out and quickly after breakfast I sit and paint my nails. Rimmel Burgundy which looks ace on its own but when teamed with Clear Glitter Varnish looks absolutely amazeballs. I sit and listen to Dark side of the moon by Pink Floyd while I paint and wait for my nails to dry.

Next up I need to shave my legs because I haven’t done it for two weeks and they are getting hairy again. I was going to have them waxed but alas funds don’t stretch that far at the moment as work before Christmas has sucked arse and quite a few people havent paid me so they’re going to get nasty letters in the new year.

Anyway, I digress, time to shave the two tree trunks that masquerade as my legs and an hour later I’m done. Yes, an hour to get them smooth.

Note to self don’t leave it that long before you shave them again or save up and get them waxed again.

Hair washed and fully showered, I dry myself off and get dressed. I tied my hair into to pig tails and then tie these into a bun. Hopefully when I untie my hair later it will have some kind of curl to it. Well that’s the plan anyway. I’ve plastered my hair with Wella Shockwaves moose so hopefully they will stay curly for a while.

I’ll leave the house and drive over to my parents to drop my dog off, as they’ve agreed to look after her while I go out. She normally goes to a dog sitter but alas even dog sitters want to go out on New year’s Eve so my parents it is is. This means I’ve got a 50-mile detour to get to my ultimate destination, and coupled with the other slight detour I need to make to go and get my makeup done it’s going to be a heavy days drive. 186 miles in total. Thankfully the roads are quiet.

An hour later my dog’s deposited at my parents I wish them a happy New year and gave them both a hug and a kiss along with a nice bottle of wine.

I make my way to Born UK to see Paul Heaton to have my makeup done.

I arrive at Paul’s at 5 but alas I’ve put the wrong time in my diary. Sometimes I worry about the state of my mind when I do things like this and I do rely on my diary quite a lot but obviously it’s only as good as the information that’s put into it. Today I put the wrong time in so politely say sorry but have until 5:30 to wait. Paul shouts, “I’ve still got somebody with me” Oops, sorry Paul I’ll come back in a little while. Getting old sucks sometimes!

So, I retire to McDonald’s round the corner to get something to eat. Well can you call McDonald’s food “something to eat?”

At least the coffees in McDonald’s reasonable and I have 30 minutes to collect my thoughts before returning to Pauls for my makeover.

I return to Paul’s just slightly after 5:30 and I’ve taking a bottle of wine. Because firstly he’s working on New Year’s Eve to do my makeup and secondly he’s not going out tonight so he can have a glass of wine on me. So, by way of saying “Thank you for his invaluable help this year and helping me make the transition to Mikki”.

Paul has been one of the few people who listen to me talk and give me good advice and help and pointed me in the right direction for more information. His friendship is something I treasure, and I thank him for his help this year. Love you Paul.

We discuss my makeup requirements for the evening. Paul knows how important this evening is for me as I will be meeting some of my friends as Mikki for the first time.

I am nervous but I am also very excited about this.

It also feels a little strange to be sat in Paul’s studio not wearing a dress as I’ve had lots of errands to run today, I’m actually wearing jeans and a sweat top which is something I haven’t worn for quite some time.

I mentioned this to Paul, and we have a little laugh about it but as always he puts my mind at rest with “You can get dressed once I’ve done your makeup and made you look as fabulous as normal” <3

As this evening’s attire is a black and navy blue with polka dot 1950s dress, we decide on a neutral blue to black colour scheme and Paul begins the transformation. Moulding a lump of clay into a modern-day masterpiece.

We chat as Paul does my makeup but I’m going to have to be quiet for a minute. Don’t move as he does my eyes and my lips.

After an hour and 15 minutes we’re done and again I look at myself in the mirror and it feels a little strange because I’m not wearing a dress however I do look fantastic.

Paul leaves me in the studio so that I can get changed and I get my underwear, tights and all my accessories ready to go.

15 minutes later and I’m dressed but struggling to zip my dress up. I think this dress has shrunk in the wash. But I message Paul and he comes back to the studio and has me zipped up after a lot of breathing in.

I look at myself in the mirror and that’s more like it. This is me, this is who I love.

Only one more thing to do and that’s untie my hair. Let’s see if the tying up has made it go curly when it’s dried.

I untie my hair and it falls to my shoulders and it’s curly. However, I’m already wondering how long it’s going to stay like this so one tonne of hairspray later I’m hoping this will hold the curls in for a little bit longer.

I thank Paul for my makeup and the conversation and I give him a hug and he shows me out and I set off for my New Year’s Eve night out.

I arrive at the party house around 7:30 and am immediately presented with a joint and a glass of wine. They taste good.

There’s a few people here already and I go and greet all of them. “Wow, babes you look amazing”, “You look fantastic”, “Oh, my who’s done your makeup? You look fab”

This goes on while people arrive, some I’ve known for years and others I’ve known just a few months. Everyone is very happy to see me as Mikki and compliments are abounding.

I go to check my hair and guess what. All the curls have gone. Okay, tie it up with a matching blue scrunchy with ribbons in to and then pull a few strands down to the side. That’ll do! Damn my straight hair!!

One friend arrives. I’ve known him for 25 years and he’s never seen me dressed as Mikki or in full make up and he is speechless. First time in 25 years I’ve known him to be speechless. His girlfriend comes over and gives me a massive hug and a kiss on the lips. He’s still speechless. Either he is shocked, or he doesn’t know what to say.

So, I go over and give him a hug. He’s still speechless, he’s trying to speak to me but he’s struggling. So again, I try to break the ice.

“What do you think?”
“I’m struggling and need a bit of time to take this in. I know it’s you but in struggling to take it all in”
“Which bit are you struggling with mate?”
“You’re my friend and I love you but your different, you look like a bird!”
“Oh you, you noticed?”

With that I give him a massive hug and then a kiss on the cheek and leave a nice big kiss mark on the side of his face.

He chuckles, I chuckle, and I walk off and greet other guests who’ve just arrived.

He grabs my arm and I find myself saying “it’s alright mate, come speak to me in a bit” he is obviously struggling with me dressed as Mikki as he’s only ever known me as Mike.

I notice for the next hour he’s in deep conversation with his girlfriend and mine. He’s obviously struggling to get his head round this.

The evening goes on and I’m aware my presence as Mikki has gone down a storm with most, but a few are struggling with me especially after knowing me for so long.

I go and speak to them and a few folk ask me why so I explain this is who I am and always have been but I’ve chosen to express myself in public because its who I am.

In the background party games are going and there are shots flying everywhere and plenty of joints being passed around. I’m getting drunk and incredibly stoned but chilled.

My friend is sat on his own, so I go and sit down next to him.

“You alright?”
“Yes. I’m shocked”
“Why you shocked mate? You knew I told you months ago”
“I’m shocked at how good you look! I mean you look like a bird”
“That’s the whole point. What did you think I was going to look like?”
“I don’t know. I’m shocked!”
“Look, no matter what I look like, dress like, or do in my life I will always love you as my mate”
“I know but I’m struggling to cope with you dressed like this”
“I’m still your friend and this will never change”
“Give me time. I do love you, but I need time”

The night goes on and everyone is having a bloody amazing time. We all have a laugh and at midnight we gather as is the tradition. We sing Auld Lang Syne, drink a toast to the new year and give finger to the year that was 2019. Everyone hugs everyone and wish them Happy New Year.

I hope 2020 is a better year than most of 2019 has been. 2019 has been one of the worst years of my life but it has freed me from my oppression and brought Mikki into my life.

The party continues until the wee small hours but I’m past caring. I hug all my friends; we drink a little drink and have a little smoke.

I don’t know what happened to the rest of the evening. I don’t even remember what time I went to bed. I do know I woke up smelling of garlic and with a sore throat!!!!

So, either we had Garlic bread or I got throat raped by a vampire hunter!!!!

Happy New Year everyone.

The Wedding

It’s been 14 years since two of the finest human beings it’s been my pleasure to be friends with got engaged and on the 27th they finally tied the knot, got hitched, got married.

As it’s their wedding I decided to leave Mikki at home and go as my alter ego.

For those who think that’s weird as a trans male, then let me explain my rational.

This day isn’t about me, its not about my ego, its not about what I look like, its not about who I am….. It’s about my friends. Their happiness, their special day. It’s about the couple who are getting married.

Also some of my other friends haven’t yet met Mikki, I decided today wasn’t the day for that to happen.

I’m sure this has dissappointed them but I also decided not to attend the wedding as Mikki because this couple have supported me so much over the past few months and have been there when I’ve had mental breakdowns and anxiety attacks as well as to offer support and love.

So I decided to become a wall flower for the day.

I’ve known the happy couple for a long time and I shared a house with the groom for a few years and this has given me a bond with him which has lasted over 25 years. We can go months without speaking, not that we do, but when we talk again it’s like nothing has changed. The conversation carries on from where we left off. In fact even now we never say “see you” or “bye” and always say “speak to you later”.

So, the wedding.

I was so eager to get there I arrived about 30 minutes early despite an hour and a half’s drive. Seems I wasnt the only one as some of my friends are already sat in the car park. Love this lot.

The ceremony was a low key affair because the happy couple are low key people, so just family and friends and I loved seeing some of their family after what is in some cases 10 years.

The ceremony started with the pair walking in to the 2001: a Space Odyssey music which I knew about but it made quite a few people laugh. That was the aim and they had timed the walk down the aisle to perfection. They admitted later they had practised the distance to walk to the musical duration.

The rest of the ceremony passes quickly and I admit the female side of me was crying her eyes out. I was so happy for them as they both looked happier than I’ve ever seen them. Smiling so much.

The wedding is over in what seems like a flash but we’ve been in the registry office for an hour.

After the ceremony we retire to one of the local ale houses for the partaking of drinking of alcoholic beverages as well as pre-prepared food stuffs. We sit in two groups, the conformists and the non-conformers. I do try talking to some of my mates family, in the conformists circle, but there already well on the way to being pissed after a few hours. I sit with my friends and chew the fat but after 3 hours it’s decided we should retire to the happy couples house for more of a party.

All the squares leave. Yay!

I get some time to spend with two of the most important people in my life. Let me explain why.

My transition so far has been a short journey. I’ve kept things close to my chest but the first people I outed myself to was the happy couple. This was at the start of October. I outed myself to them a fortnight before I told my parents and on the night I went round to my parents as Mikki for the first time. I went to their house straight after. I admit it shocked them especially as I had gone to a massive effort that evening to look amazing, but after the initial shock they were so cool about Mikki.

That evening we all sat and talked. We talked until the next day, right through the next day and into Sunday morning. All the time I’m sat in their house. I’m Mikki. They treat me so differently to 99% of my friends.

On Sunday I leave their house but not before they have said how they both feel so honoured I have introduced them to Mikki and they’re also blown away by my honesty, mainly as to how honest I’ve had to be to myself, as well as how happy I am after years of, and I quote “being a miserable fucker”

This has led them to talk to each other at length after what they term as, their relationship having gone stale. Once i’d left on the Sunday they continued to sit there and talk more and more. They said until Tuesday evening and most of this was about how happy I am and about being honest with each other about what they want from each other in the relationship.

11:40 pm on Tuesday night and my phone rings. Its the groom.

“Mate, I just wanted to tell you we’ve talked after the weekend and we want you to be the first to know. We’re getting married”

I’m speechless! and I admit I cried. They wanted me to be the first to know!

“WOWOWOWOWOW”

We talk for well over an hour but they have obviously listened to what I was telling them about being honest to yourself and only then can you be honest to those who love you.

I love these two, their my best mates, and as such as would never have missed their wedding for anything.

I had a awesome day and New Years Eve i’m at their house as me, Mikki. Along with everyone who want to meet Mikki.

So looking forward to this.

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