Yesterday’s phone call from mum was a heart wrenched and has killed me a little inside!
This year hasn’t been kind to my family withy father’s death and struggling to get over this with lockdown because of coronavirus. It’s meant we haven’t been able to be together as much and we:be both struggled to get over dad’s death. Not that you ever get over the death of a loved one!
But yesterday my mum has found out she needs another major operation as she has complications because of cancer.
I received a phone call from mum where she was crying her eyes out, understandably because of the news.
I’d already had a few glasses of wine because I’d had a very stressful week with work, so I couldnt go see her. Plus her town is under lockdown again so I’d also be breaking the law. Visiting from outside the area is “not allowed”.
An hour later we end the call and I’m left feeling like shit because I can’t go and comfort mum!
So, today I went to see her as her mental health is so important.
I know I should be supportive but at the moment she is very negative about everything and it’s been a major effort to be there.
It must be serious as the surgeons have told her she needs this operation in the next few weeks.
I am honestly exhausted after the visit and for the first time in many months I’ve found myself comfort eating this evening!
I know mum is unwell because she has lost over a stone in weight but more concerned about her mental health. I know she has been ill and shit this year has got to her but she is so negative at present and although she has her sister nearby, she is just as negative!
Nothing I say can appease her at present!
I need a drink and also need to get my thoughts out of my head.
I so wanted to go out tonight and get utterly wasted!
I’ll phone her tommorow but for tonight i need vent and forget about it all.
Tommorow is another day!